Why is it that at Christmas time we develop an inability to say no?

No, you can’t come for Christmas dinner, I’m knackered and you were miserable shits last year

No, you can’t have that toy, it’s £50 and I’ve already spent a fortune on you

No, I can’t host New Years, why don’t one of you offer

No, I’m not cooking Christmas dinner, after 14 years I’m taking the year off

No. A very simple word yet we (I) fail to use it correctly and end up as a stressed-out, knackered lunatic.

Now I’m going to be a bit sexist here… this is mainly women I’m talking about. The awesome women who do everything at Christmas. I have heard of some men cooking Christmas dinner or buy presents for their families… ancient folklore told by the old women of Dartmoor… joke.

I was told last year that I ‘bring it on myself’ and if I didn’t want to do it, ‘I should just say’. Oh bugger off.

I mean I’m perfectly capable of not inviting people over, this year I’ve got the perfect excuse, but am I the sort of person that doesn’t invite people? No, I’m not. I want everyone around me to be happy, so I’ll play the martyr and cook for 12. But… I’m not doing that and New Years and Easter and Halloween… well I probably am.

Maybe I need to listen to my own advice? No you can’t come for Christmas 2021, I’ll be in the Seychelles with… (insert name here).

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