Last year, after eight years of being unhappy married I finally put myself first and ended it. I’d spent years trying to fix it. Endless hours talking about it and trying to explain what I needed and why.
I was an enabler and had made excuses for bad behaviour for years. Along with giving endless chances. I believed what was being said, but actions speak louder than words. The two just didn’t correlate.
So why did I stay for so long? The children were babies. I had mental health issues, which were massively aggravated by the relationship and I was so worried that the thoughts that were in my head were untrue. They weren’t.
Bad relationships aren’t the only place that toxic behaviour exists. Do you put up with behaviour that’s unacceptable? It might be from a partner, family member, work colleague or friend. If you continue to let people treat you badly they won’t ever stop.
Toxic people will always make you feel as if you’re the problem. They will never change and they will never admit responsibility for their actions. Throughout life, we all meet toxic people. Sometimes it’s easy to spot them and cut them out. Sometimes you may get lumbered with them for a long time.
You need to ask yourself this… would you accept someone treating your child/partner/loved one that way? Would you stand up and say no, this behaviour is not acceptable? So why won’t you stand up for yourself and why do you constantly make excuses for them?
They’re having a bad day – they still shouldn’t treat you that way.
They’re a bit stressed at the moment – they shouldn’t be taking it out on you.
They are too busy – you don’t need to pick up the slack.
They didn’t mean it – well why did they say it then.
Maybe its time that you put a stop to it. Maybe it’s time to put your happiness first. Stop making excuses for people that are making you unhappy. Put yourself first and choose more.